"I put the FU in FUN!" - 4/29
"If the phone doesn't ring, It's me." - 4/30
-Jimmy Buffet
"Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad." - 5/1
-P.D. East
"Maybe this world is another planet's hell." - 5/2
-Aldous Huxley
"I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?" - 5/3
-Jerry Seinfeld
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." - 5/4
-Dave Barry
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